Cougar dating has become quite the thing over the last ten odd years, which led to people creating a rich mythos around it in order to rationalize these types of relationships. These misconceptions, usually fueled by ignorance and narrow-mindedness, are very disparaging and hurtful and are definitely not the best way to express one’s opinions.
In order to try and put a stop to the rampant growth of these fallacies, we will debunk six of the most popular myths associated with cougar dating.
1. Cougars Are Predators
Cougars are usually represented as these unstoppable sexual predators who spend every waking hour planning how to sink their teeth into yet another unsuspecting cub. They are almost depicted as wild beasts incapable of human emotions and consumed by their flagrant sex drive.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Cougars are just ordinary mature women who have had enough time to get their act together, gather some life experience, take risks, learn from their mistakes, and explore their sexuality along the way. This, in turn, made them more experimental and open to certain propositions, which is usually scoffed at.
Ultimately, some men do prefer older women, so dating a cougar is a matter of personal choice.
2. The Social Circles Of Cougars And Cubs Are Incompatible
Cougar relationships supposedly dissolve friendships into nothingness since making a coherent community out of two social circles is downright impossible due to the generation gap.
First of all, bringing two social groups together is always challenging since introducing new people to your little community usually tends to disrupt the carefully crafted equilibrium. Basically, dating a cougar is no different than seeing a girl your own age, who is yet to meet your friends and gain their trust.
Moreover, if someone is unable to accept this kind of a relationship and/or keep their snide comments to themselves, maybe they should not be in your social circle to begin with, right?
3. The Younger Man Will Inevitably Cheat
In order to understand just how distorted this omnipresent cougar dating myth really is, we need to think long and hard about infidelity as a concept.
Infidelity has nothing to do with the couple’s age, their social status or even how attracted they are to each other. Infidelity is a matter of respect – or more precisely the lack of it.
And as we all know, respect has nothing to do with age. When a younger man cheats on his older cougar lover, her age is never the real reason. He cheats because he cheats and he would cheat on a woman his age just the same.
4. Someone Will Get Bored
Apparently, relationships with people who are younger or older than you tend to be short because ‘someone is bound to get bored.’ The man will inevitably start desiring younger women and his cougar lady will eventually grow tired of his fleeting interests and supposed shallowness.
This is not true. Younger guys can adopt a certain level of sophistication and discover new interests and hobbies they can share with their older girlfriends. On the other hand, attraction fades over time even in “regular” relationships and turns into love, respect, and all that ‘grown-up stuff.’
In other words, cougar relationships are the same as any other kind, only with a more pronounced age difference.
5. Families Do Not Accept Such Relationships
Another common myth is that families of mature women and their younger partners frown upon these relationships. The cougar’s children are supposed to forever hate the new boyfriend and his family will see the cougar as an enemy, a cradle snatcher.
Once again, this is a myth that has nothing to do with reality.
Our families want what is best for us and if they see that this other person is making us happier, they will accept them no matter what. The only true myth is that love conquers all. It really does.
6. It Is All A Big Fetish
Apart from being a myth, this is also a very cruel and malicious lie.
In this narrative, cougar relationships are explained as nothing more than a fetish on both sides – a horny young man who thinks an older woman is some sexual holy grail and a bored older woman who sees younger men as trophies to be won in a futile attempt to prolong her youth.
In reality, cougar datings about having fun, meeting new people, discovering new passions, and falling in love. Just like any other type of dating.
Every type of relationship between two humans comes with its share of complications and difficulties. In the end, the only important thing is whether the good surpasses the bad.
With that in mind, cougars are not sexual predators consumed by their basic urges, your friends and family will not abandon you for dating one, and they too are capable of maintaining a loving and committed relationship with a younger man and connecting with him on a more profound level.
Generation gaps are like dull swords; they look scary but are essentially harmless. Somebody who truly understands you and is willing to stick with you through thick and thin is too precious to lose because some people might not approve of your feelings.
There will be problems like in every relationship, but overcoming those obstacles together is what love and commitment are all about.